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Les dimanches anxieux

Les dimanches après-midi sont les pires moments de ma semaine. Encore pire quand ma fille est chez son père.

C'est LE moment dans ma semaine où une crise d'anxiété a le plus de chance de débuter, m'entrainant dans un flot incessant de pensées anxieuses qui n'ont habituellement

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On dealing with mental health issues: the BPD probability

In the last few months, I had to deal with the fact that I may suffer from borderline personality disorder (BPD). After talking with my medical team over this possibility, I read a lot on that subject, and I thought a lot about myself in these last few months. It does explain a LOT of past behaviours and reactions. And ever since I became aware of its possibility, I change a lot of stuff in my life to make it better (and it did!).

But there is still one main point characterizing BPD that I have a hard time dealing with: the constant, ever-eternal, chronic feeling of emptiness. 

Boooyyyyyyyy do I have that one HARD! And fuck do I hate it.

But…it does explain A LOT in my past: how I was never able to focus on one project at a time (and especially bring it to “completion”/finish); how I was always jumping from one thing to another, never satisfied, never happy after the happy rush from its beginnings; the hard time to focus at school, always happy to start the semester, but always struggling to finish it (let’s not talk about my university grades; the never-ending ADHD side of myself which always struggle to finish anything…fuuuuucccckkkkkkkk!);

So now, I’m trying to see if I can change this point a little. Push myself a little to NOT drop whatever new project/thing I try or start. It’s hard, but if I deal with it one day at a time, I might manage it…

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Share of the day: A Working Class Death

😥💚
“You know the careful visual distinctions we make in this country. “Dress like the job you want” also means “if you can’t dress and groom that way, good luck getting that job.” You’re your father’s daughter, so you grok the penalty of dressing the wrong way, but you’re also uneasy with passing as upper class no matter what your education and salary. The working class made you and at some fundamental level you’re loyal to it. The reflexive mockery of the people you come from by the people around you bites every time. And when Hannibal Lecter says to Clarice Starling, “You’re just one generation removed from poor white trash”—oh, you feel that. You know the gaze the monster turns on her. You’ve spent years avoiding it.”

http://true.proximitymagazine.org/2018/10/11/a-working-class-death/

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National Coming Out Day

Some of you might not know it but…Yup, I’m on the Queer Side of Life, you all! Always knew I wasn’t a straight woman, but didn’t found my “label” until 2-3 years ago (I’m a genderfluid Pansexual). I am lucky to live in a place where I CAN come out without repercussions on my life. And I am lucky to be surrounded by an amazing tribe that accept me (and others) as we are: authentic, queer and happy. So, to my friends and allies, thank you for being there, too! But for those who can’t come out: we are there for you, if/when you come out. ❤ and all. We will continue to fight for equality of all human beings on this planet.

via my Instagram http://bit.ly/2EcPEu5